Everybody travels, and as they travel they are then called tourists. And tourists and travelers have always been a pain in the proverbial backside. They mill around the most mundane piece of architecture and take lots of photographs of it whilst smiling and squeaking with delight like demented demons on heat and caravaning tourists are the scourge of the open road. Tourists will boldly go where no one ever really wants to go and nobody really cares about anyway, and what can a traveller do with seventy five photographs of the same thing. Here is a quick list of ten things to do to annoy a traveler.

10: Offer to take their group picture, and whilst they are all huddled together and smiling, accidentally drop the camera

9: When a tourist is looking for a certain place, send them in the wrong direction

8: When a backpacking tourist is walking along the street, nip in behind them with a pair or scissors and
quickly cut one of their ruck sack straps and leg it quickly.

7: Follow them, wherever they go, walk right behind them and take a photo of everything they take a photo of.

6: Walk with them and be on the phone constantly, shouting every word. Describe what the tourists are looking at, only in a more negative tone. If the tourists say ‘that’s nice’ you shout in to the phone ‘ they are looking this big statue, it’s crap’

5: Tell them you are lost and they must help you with directions .

4: Pinch their bums and blame it on the person behind you

3: Get a bungee cord ( a piece of elastic with hooks at both ends ) whilst they are not looking attach one end
to the loop in the top of their trousers where the belt goes, and the other end to a counter stand or shop
display and walk away. When the tourist moves from where they are standing, the whole display comes
crashing down.

2: Ask them for their autograph and pretend they are someone famous, constantly pestering them.

1: Walk around taking photographs of them

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